I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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