did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
