Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
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dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize