why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize