I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize