oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize