dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize