im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
