she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
