and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
