im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
