what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
