btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize