I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
