The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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