If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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