why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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