Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
