Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
