We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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