i can't believe i had my finger in that
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
