Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
