the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
