Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Already got asked if we're dating
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
