i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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