i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize