i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
