Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
