Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize