Im at strip club and am horny
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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