i jhust puked up my retainher.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
