Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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