I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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