I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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