I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
