You smell like a Billy Joel song
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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