She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
