I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
