My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize