i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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