ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
