Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
