I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
