have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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