where am i from again
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So much rum. So many feels.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize