why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
