I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
