So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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