when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize