Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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