sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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