Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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