but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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