Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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