no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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