I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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