im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have aggressive nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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